Love & Stitches at The Asylum: Part Thirty-One
The weekend is here again, but it's an extra special one! Today is Tibby's birthday! Which means cupcakes and all the fun and sparkles and special time she can stand! <g>
No island escapes, though. Just in case. ;)
Happy Birthday, Tibby. I hope the day's as special as you are.
And Happy Reading!
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The air outside had a damp bite, the snow and rain warring for dominance. Charcoal gray clouds moved ponderously overhead, low and thick, like the sky frowned on him for last night’s ill considered choices. Jared stepped out onto the roof’s tarry surface, not bothering with silence.
One foot on the bricks lining the edge of the roof, forearm rested on his knee, Rhodey stared out over the park. He didn’t move a muscle, but his energy shifted slightly, showing his awareness of Jared’s presence.
Joining him, Jared scanned the park, where a few of the neighborhood children raced in circles on dirt bikes, pretending to shoot at each other with sticks they carried like rifles. Their shouts were mostly carried away on the wind, but the age old, “No! I shot you first! You’re dead!” was clear.
“We would’ve just gotten off our bikes and hit the sons-a-bitches with the sticks to make things clear.” Jared braced his hands on the brick. “That doesn’t work so well now. I found out.”
Rhodey snorted, giving him a sideways look. “I don’t know about that. Still makes one hell of a statement.” He went quiet for a bit, his gaze returning to the park. “A couple weeks ago—that day that was unseasonably warm—Shea came to see me. He wanted to take Jacks and Danny on a fucking picnic. Dumb idea—I never understood why anyone would want to sit in the dirt to eat if they didn’t have to. But whatever, he wasn’t asking my opinion.” There was a faraway look in his eyes, as though he recalled the interaction. “The only way he’d take them out there is if he could guarantee they’d be safe. I told him I’d take care of it. And I did. It wasn’t that hard, it’s a fucking park.” His jaw hardened. “I’m an arrogant fucking fool.”
“No, you’ve just been telling yourself for a great many years that if you spat into the wind hard enough it wouldn’t spray back on you.” Because that’s what Rhodey had been taught to believe, and it was what they all said they needed from him. “You have all of us believing it, too. It’s time we took some responsibility for our own actions and our own safety.” Jared inhaled deep. “Which is why I want you to teach me how. Not because I think I’m going to become a merc, but because we all bear responsibility for what goes on here and for taking care of each other. And that includes taking care of you when you need a break to see your sister... What happened last night was inexcusable, so I won’t apologize. I’ll only say that I will do better at not making more work for you in the future, and I want to help.”
Straightening, Rhodey glanced over to the other side of the roof, where Avery was keeping watch over the main street, though both the café and the restaurant were still closed. If Jared had blinked, or didn’t know Rhodey so well, he might’ve missed the pain that deepened the fine lines around his eyes.
His gruff tone gave nothing away. “I’d appreciate that, but you have enough on your plate. My men can keep this place secure. I just…” He made a frustrated sound. “Either Keiran or Avery would’ve moved too fast to get hit. And they wouldn’t have let some shit disturbing piece of scum put them in that position to begin with. There are different things I have to worry about with them. But never that. I don’t want to ruin that boy, but...fuck, if I’d been a little harder on him, I could have prevented this. Who the fuck do I think I am, keeping someone that soft?”
“Human. Someone who needs a place to land—” Jared used the same phrase he had with Noah...and a long time ago with Rhodey himself. “—before he goes out of his fucking mind.” One hand on Rhodey’s shoulder, Jared squeezed. “It’s why we’re all so head over heels with him. We need that. He’s... In those Fantasy books Noah likes? He’d be the soul keeper. The place we all lock away the most precious part of us so we don’t lose it. We protect that place, that boy, at all costs because he takes from us that which we’re terrified to carry around inside ourselves.”
Rhodey looked at him again, this time his lips slanted a bit. Not quite a smile, more a wry expression. “You always were more of a romantic than you’d ever admit. Maybe you’re right. Maybe he...somehow managed to hold onto something that got ruined in us by this fucked up world a long time ago and we don’t want to lose it. Whatever it is, I’m not sure it won’t get him killed.”
He brought his focus to Avery again.
“I know you’re here because someone told you what Matt said. He’s wrong.” His tone shifted to the closed-off one he tended to use, as though he was stating the simple facts. “I love my men, my little snake, Dallas, Keiran, enough that I gave them the tools to survive with me. They...understand what they need to do, what they can expect from me. They can trust me to lead them, to hold strong no matter what happens. And it’s exactly because I’m the coldhearted bastard Lawson’s boy thinks I am. That’s not going to change.”
“It had better not. You’re the only one of us who holds to that line. That doesn’t mean we can’t hold it for you occasionally while you go off to remind yourself why you do it.” Following Rhodey’s gaze, Jared studied Avery’s profile as the sub turned to scan the General Clinic parking lot, where a car had pulled in. “I’m hiring more medical staff, and handing the business over to them. I’ll be on the board, but I’m needed here. My work there is done.” He met Rhodey’s eyes. “Send me to school.”
Huffing out a laugh, Rhodey gave a little shrug. “If you think you need it, I don’t mind spending some time toughening you up a bit. You let Seth take your spot in the top of the fighting ranks. We’ll have to fix that.” He looked over the park again. “I’ll only ask for one thing in return.”
“If it’s that I teach Sub 101, I already told Jamie I would.” Irked at the reminder of the fight with Seth, Jared rolled his shoulders.
Rhodey shook his head. “No, but that’s good. I’d like as much of your focus on that as you can spare.” He paused, then met Jared’s eyes. “Don’t let me ruin him. I will. After this, I want to. I want to make him stronger. Harder. And I could. By the time I was done with him, there would be nothing left of the boy we love so much. But he’d be safe and, right now, that’s all I can see.”
“Wise and safe are good, but wisdom doesn’t need to be won at the cost of your soul. Not if you have people who love you and protect you in the right ways, who teach you in the right ways.” Remembering his own aborted training under their Dom, Jared shook his head. “You made sure I could hang onto that knowledge. Thank you, for that. And...for coming to me in the field hospital. I’d forgotten...about that. And that he was there, too.” Jared didn’t look away from Rhodey’s gaze. “Why was he there? Why were you?”
It was Rhodey who finally looked away, his attention drawn to a few passing cars. “I needed to see for myself that you were going to make it. He needed to see that his investments weren’t going to waste on someone who’d become...something less. I proved he had nothing to worry about.” He shifted into the same position he’d been in when Jared first came up. “I want you to promise me you’ll keep him as exactly who he is, my man. Sure, make sure he knows what...all the subs need to. Make sure no one can take advantage of him. But I want our little mouse to...be our little mouse. For as long as he can.”
Rubbing his palm over the back of his own neck, Jared squeezed to massage away the ache that had been there since he’d awakened. “I can and will...but what are you asking me to do, exactly? If you take your tag away, it will devastate him.”
“I won’t. I’m too selfish for that. It would be the best thing for him, but…” Rhodey shrugged, then rolled his head from side to side, as though getting rid of the same kind of tension plaguiging Jared. “I don’t care how you do it. Just...find a way to let him be...soft. I know you can.”
Jared nodded slowly, dropping his arm to his side to prop one hip against the wall. “Can I ask you for something...that’s been on my mind for a while?”
Tilting his head slightly to one side, like he was listening to something, Rhodey held up one hand, then sighed and shook his head. “Go stuff your face with snickerdoodles and stop being such a horny fuck. If Keiran doesn’t take care of you, I’m beating his ass.” He took out his earpiece and stuffed it in his pocket. “Don’t mind my man. Like I said, they expect me at a certain level. I needed a sec to get back there. What did you want to ask me?”
“I have...an issue.” Knowing Rhodey would want to stay on topic, Jared didn’t acknowledge the interruption other than to nod. “A similar one, but different. With Jamie.” He glanced at Rhodey to make certain the man followed. “I want to be softer with him, but I need him to be stronger and less self-focused. To see the path his actions will lead to before he takes them. I’ve tried everything I can think of and it’s eroded my relationship with him to the point I’m surprised Noah hasn’t said anything.” Sighing heavily, he scratched his beard. “I want to repair that, but I can’t unless someone else takes up the task so I can relax. Do you think you could give it a try? God knows, nothing I’ve done has worked.”
Rhodey let out a soft laugh. “Yes, I can do that. Softness looks better on you anyway. And if Noah has to get a wakeup call and hate one of us, I’d rather it be me.” He smirked, giving the park one last look before stepping back and walking along the length of the roof, where the sky was darker, nothing but shadowed, empty streets below. “Noah hasn’t noticed because he trusts you completely. Don’t fuck that up.”
“Thank you for helping me not to ‘fuck that up’.” Folding his arms over his chest, Jared enjoyed the feeling of the cold wind on his beard and scalp. “You’re telling me the training thing...what I want to do with you...is a bad idea. For me.”
Rhodey glanced over at him, shaking his head. “How did you come to that conclusion? I said I’d do it. And I’ll keep your boy on track. Did I use the wrong words?”
“No, I meant me training with you as a merc.” Jared let himself get explicit.
Avery started to turn toward Rhodey, surprise in his gaze, then stopped and refocused on the street. Shrugging his blade from its sheath into his hand, he flipped it a few times while he watched the coffee shop.
“Ah. No, that I won’t do.” Rhodey returned to the span on the roof closer to Jared, not pacing in any obvious way, but moving more than he usually did during watch. “I’ll toughen you up. I’ll make you sharper. I’ll help you not be so fucking tired all the time, no matter how much sleep you get. It’s made you sloppy.” He kept his gaze on the area below as he did another pass along the roof, his boots noisy on the gravel. “I’ll teach you what you need to know. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“Trying to save the hollow cavity in my chest as a second storage place for your heart?” Jared teased on Rhodey’s close pass.
The comment didn’t even get him a smile. “Something like that. If you want to believe I have one.” Rhodey spoke up, not shifting his gaze from the shadows below. “Go in now, my little viper. Get some rest. Make sure our men do the same after the meeting. I have this until eighteen-hundred.”
“Yes, sir.” Moving with absolutely silent steps across the gravel, Avery glided past his Dom on his way to the rooftop door.
Rhodey turned to Jared. “You go in, too. Cuddle with your boys. Get something to eat. I’ll let you know tonight when we start on your training.”
Waiting until the door closed, Jared stepped up to his oldest friend, and the man who knew the inner workings of his heart better than anyone ever could or would. He cupped Rhodey’s cheeks and pressed a soft, poignant kiss to his lips, letting him feel how much more was behind the affectionate gesture than a ‘thank you’. How much more he’d always wanted to give.
“Go on.” Rhodey patted his cheek before stepping away. “Only one of us gets to be soft. Like I said, it looks better on you.”
“You can be. With me. I won’t ever think less of you or use it against you. You always have my respect and love. You can help me learn, but that wasn’t a request to push me away or to wall me out. We know each other too well for that.” Jared caught Rhodey’s fingers, only because the man let him. “I’m always in the bunk with you.” He made reference to their childhood bunk beds. “I am forever.”
Rhodey studied his face for a moment, his expression unreadable. “I know that, my man. But I can’t take what you need to give. We’re always going to be friends and I never thought I could say that about anyone in my life. You want me to give your boy strength so you can give him softness. Go do that now, because he needs it. And I have no room for it.”
The ache in Jared’s chest threatened to crack him open and spill his emotions like an egg’s messy insides, all over the rooftop. “You do. And you’ll find it. And when you decide to take it, I’ll protect your right to it as fiercely as you do the rest of us.”
All that got him was a noncommittal sound as Rhodey went to the side of the roof where Avery had been before. “First lesson. Don’t look for something that isn’t there. See what’s right in front of you. Figure out exactly how you’re going to handle it. And how to get through whatever gets in the way.”
“Dammit, Rhodey. I don’t need to look. Just like I didn’t need to look with Noah. I saw it. Him. I see you. The two of you, I swear. I will get through whatever gets in the way.” Leaning in, though they were a half city block apart on the rooftop, Jared raised his voice to be heard above a sudden buffeting of the wind. “You’re a stubborn bastard, but I taught you everything you know about that. We’ll see who wins, but I already know who’s right. Me.”
Rhodey chuckled, giving him a mocking salute. “Yes. You’re right. Now that you’ve gotten what you want to hear, will you go away? I’m busy with this big ol’ heart of mine, feeling all the things.”
“You don’t fool me, Tin Man.” Tempted to borrow Jacks’ ‘Dorothy’ costume, but for the fact it was about twelve sizes too small, Jared found himself shaking his finger at Rhodey. “I’ll have Keiran bring you soup and a Thermos of coffee. Doctor’s orders.”
That got him a genuine laugh. “And he’ll bring me up a steak and a beer, because he’s a smart boy. Soup. Do I look like I’m dying?”
“No, you look cold. It’s going to snow.” Rolling his eyes, Jared stalked through the rooftop door, pulling out his phone to text the sub.
Bring Rhodey steak soup. Doctor’s orders.
Oh, and if it has a cheese and beer base, all the better.
Do not deviate from these instructions no matter what the merc says.
There was a very long span where the little dots didn’t even show up, but the message had clearly been seen. At first, it seemed like Keiran wouldn’t reply at all. Finally, a message appeared, right when he’d been about to put his phone away.
Sir, is Rhodey sick?
Tsking, Jared shook his head, leaning his shoulder against the stairwell wall.
He’s cold. Soup will warm his core.
Coffee too.
Also, his leather gloves.
Let’s take care of the man a little.
Voices carried in the stairwell, Keiran clearly not knowing he was there. “Avery, does Rhodey even have gloves? And I don’t remember the last time he drank coffee. I need to go put on the soup...maybe if I bring him steak on the side he won’t think I’ve lost my mind?”
Jared raised his voice so Keiran wouldn’t miss his words. “If you gave him steak and potato soup with a German stout base, bacon and cheddar melted in, you’ll satisfy all the requirements and deliver my message the way I wished it to be delivered. Which is that it doesn’t matter how tough he is, there are people who will look out for him.”
“Yes, sir, but…” Keiran let out a heavy sigh, coming to the bottom of the stairs and gazing up at him. “He’s a big man and just a soup won’t be enough to fill him up. But a hearty soup will help and...I love the idea of him being warm, even though he doesn’t seem to feel the cold. We’ve been out in much worse conditions.” His lips curved into a soft smile, his eyes going distant, like he was remembering something. “First time in Russia, he suited all three of us up. Made sure we could move comfortably, but the cold couldn’t touch us. He fusses worse than Quint sometimes, but don’t tell him I said that.”
“My lips are sealed.” Jared met Avery’s gaze. “I’m glad he has all of you.”
Avery’s expression didn’t change, remaining more unreadable to him than Rhodey’s. “He has gloves. They’re used for play.”
“Come to our loft. I’ll get you a pair of mine.” Motioning for Keiran and Avery to follow him, Jared keyed in the code to their loft. “He may keep them. At least I know what to get him for Christmas, now. And I’ll be getting you boys heated vests. You spend far too long on the roof in the cold to be chilled. Lowering your core body temperature is a wonderful way to end up with a chest infection, and a stressed Dom.”
Taking Avery’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together, Keiran kept them a step behind Jared. “That’s very thoughtful of you, sir. You don’t have to worry, though. Honestly. We’re trained to pay attention to our bodies, so we can avoid issues a lot of other people deal with.” He let out a self-conscious laugh. “I personally wouldn’t mind being a bit warmer sometimes, though a few more years of training and I probably won’t notice the temperature at all anymore.”
Lips thinning, Jared looked around for the mitten and scarf box, like he didn’t know exactly where it was by the door. “Ah. Here we go.” Lifting the rosewood lid, he inhaled deeply as the scent of cedar wafted from the specially fitted lining Curtis had created for them. He dug through the neat piles, coming up with a pair of lined, black leather gloves that didn’t have so much bulk that Rhodey wouldn’t be able to easily pull a trigger. “If he throws them off the roof, I will be very offended.” He handed the gloves to Keiran. “Thank you.”
Keiran snickered, taking a moment to admire the gloves before smiling at Jared. “If he does, I’ll catch them before they hit the ground, sir. Would you like some of that soup as well? I think I’ll drop some off at the clinic for the other doctors. And Pike…” He stopped, then shook his head. “No, not Pike. It’s a shame, he’s always cold and that would’ve been good for him. I’ll figure out something, though. Thank you, sir.”
“Why not Pike?” Pulling out a pair of Jamie’s cherry red mittens that Noah had gotten him when he’d first arrived at The Asylum, Jared handed them to Keiran as well. “And you may give these to him. They’d suit him.”
Looking around, Keiran lowered his voice. “Soup is the only thing Pike will not eat. One of his cousins put a snake in his bowl once and his father…” He shuddered, shaking his head. “I’ll always be grateful for the childhood my mother gave me, but some of what so many here have been through makes me very aware of how lucky I was.”
“Sometimes...” Jaw hard, Jared spoke through clenched teeth, then breathed deep to force calm into his voice. “Sometimes, I wish I could resuscitate people just to kill them all over again. That would be a fun game.”
Keiran gave him a quick nod of agreement, then held up the mittens with another smile, as though he’d decided to focus on the more pleasant subject. “These will look cute on him, and Quint will enjoy getting him all bundled up. Maybe, once Danny’s out of the clinic, Seth will take them out for a walk. Pike could use some fresh air and he loves the park. I don’t think he’ll be very recognizable, all bundled up. I have a nice thick scarf this color that will be perfect.”
Glancing over his shoulder, Jared attempted to determine where everyone else in the loft was. The sound of the shower running in the main bedroom, Jamie’s voice echoing, with Noah’s deeper answer, giving him some assurance Wren wasn’t near, he leaned closer, voice lowered. “And...other preparations? They’re going well?”
“Yes, sir.” Keiran spoke in a whisper, his gaze flicking toward Wren’s office. “Pike and Reed came up with a pretty decent plan that just needs to be organized a bit more clearly. And Pike drew me up some really nice design ideas for different kinds of foods with horror themes I can use for Wren’s favorites.”
“Good. Excellent. I’d like a live Operation game for him. One of the subs with a sheet over them. Holes cut in it, and objects we need to lift out using...chopsticks maybe.” Jared grinned, picturing the fun. “The sub needs to scream bloody murder whenever the object isn’t lifted out cleanly.”
That got a bit of a brow twitch from Keiran before he laughed. “I’ll relay the message, sir. And drop off Pike’s sketchbook in the clinic. Unless Seth’s changed the code again—he seems to find it amusing to make it as difficult as possible to get into his loft. Avery still manages it when necessary, but me and Dallas just can’t figure out the trick anymore. At least Seth and Quint are both mercs, so they can check for any breaches themselves, but I hate not being able to complete the tasks Rhodey sets for us.” He sighed, folding the mittens and gloves carefully in one hand. “I’ll get going. Tell Jamie I got some fresh cherries and he’s got a few treats to look forward to tonight.”
“Tonight?” Jared frowned, door part way open, trying to remember if they had something planned for that evening.
“Yes, I won’t have time to make everything until then.” Keiran lifted his shoulders in a barely there shrug. “I thought he’d enjoy something nice.”
“What I meant to ask is whether there’s something special going on this evening.” Door opened wider, Jared stood back to allow Avery’s exit.
Keiran’s brow furrowed as he stepped out behind his co-sub. “Not that I’m aware of, sir? The restaurant’s closed, so I’m enjoying a bit of my free time making things for the Core. Having a menu keeps things from being unmanageable, but once in a while I love just making whatever I feel like that the people I love will enjoy.”
“Thank you, my boy. I hope you have a pleasant afternoon baking and cooking to your heart’s content.” Starting to close the door, Jared tried to think of what Avery might enjoy doing in his spare time besides throwing knives and dangling from silk half-naked. He shrugged a little. “Have a pleasant day, too, Avery.”
“Yes, sir. If that’s an order.” Avery waved a little, the red lines on his hand a dark purple-brown.
Shaking his head, Jared closed the door. “You know how to pick them, Rhodey, I’ll give you that.”
Avery might be strange, but he was loyal to Rhodey. To Danny. And everyone Jared loved. For that reason alone, he would have laid down his own life to protect Rhodey’s boy. No matter what the merc said, he’d taken broken pieces of his heart and distributed them between his subs for safekeeping. Just as Jared had done with Quint, Noah, Wren, and now Danny.
Danny.
Thinking of him hurt—hurting—because of last night’s mistakes, Jared knew he’d never betray his promise to Rhodey. Just like Noah, the boy was a link between him and Rhodey. A link he intended to see never broke. Danny would be protected with all the care and softness Rhodey would’ve given every boy who wore his tag, if he could. Instead, he’d given them all a chance to live a life they never thought they’d have.
There might not be a soft landing for Rhodey, but the least gift Jared could give him would be a place to imagine he could find it. Someday.
In Danny’s arms.
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A sweet Jared and Rhodey kiss, ahhh makes me happy 💕
ReplyDeleteI like Jared being there for Rhodey and Danny. ❤
ReplyDeleteThis whole chapter just makes me happy
ReplyDelete